Remembering Tristan

The other night, Judy and I had friends over and we watched Marley & Me. We had seen the film in the theatre when it came out, enjoyed it immensely in spite of the emotional pain we suffered during the ending, and bought the DVD when it became available. We hadn't watched the DVD since purchasing it because there was always someone unwilling to subject themself to the emotions they knew were inevitable. This is not a review of the film. At the conclusion of the movie, my friend John Hale suggested I write something about my dogs in my blog.

One of the reasons Marley & Me is so painful for me to watch is it reminds me so much of our lives with Tristan, a Golden Retriever we welcomed into our lives during the summer of 1989.

(Tristan, our pick of the litter )

Earlier in 89, Judy and I both read the Dean Koontz novel Watchers. The book was about a genetically enhanced Golden Retriever named Einstein. Koontz who owned a Golden himself, characterized the dog so richly, we fell in love with the breed. At the time, Judy and I had no children (at least not human kids); we had two Lhasa Apso's, Seth and Jasmine. We found a breeder of Goldens in Danville and after much deliberation we brought Tristan home. We named him after the younger Farnon brother played by Peter Davison on the BBC series based on the James Herriot novel All Creatures Great and Small.

(Jasmine, Judy, Seth and Me)

It didn't take long for us to find out how much Tristan liked the water. We put a big bowl of water out for the dogs to drink while they played outside. Tristan climbed into the bowl to cool off time and time again. We soon bought a small child's swimming pool for his enjoyment which he played in for years.

(Cooling off)

It wasn't long before we were taking Tristan out to Eagle Creek Park where we would find a hideaway in a secluded part of the reservoir and go swimming. More than any other activity, I believe this is what Tristan enjoyed doing most.

Tristan was a beautiful Golden. He had a rich golden, feathered coat and he would eventually grow to weigh 95 pounds, large by Golden standards and I would best describe him as majestic. Large dogs can't be allowed to jump up on people and we knew it would be essential to have him go through some obedience training. During his first year with us, Tristan was quite the rowdy one. We had to pull him out of K-9 College because he played too rough during breaks. Another dog had to have stitches due to Tristan's roughhousing. We had to break down and have a trainer come to our home and teach him as well as Judy and myself the basics of obedience. This time he graduated and the training proved worthwhile particularly when he was away from home for when he was in a strange place all I needed to do was whisper a command and He promptly followed direction.

But there was one instance when Tristan showed instincts and intelligence beyond the scope of training. Shortly after we adopted Jason, he was two and a half and Tristan was 3 years old, we all went up to my aunt's house in the country. Bushes, chicken coops, tractors, wagons, there was much for a toddler to get into while Jason explored my aunt's backyard. Being the protective father I started to run out to make sure Jason didn't get into anything dangerous. Aunt Barbara stopped me and told me to watch. Tristan had gone with Jason, and I was amazed how he instinctively protected our newly adopted son. Everytime Jason approached an object, Tristan would step in between the boy and what he was investigating. Tristan would look it over, sniff it and then let Jason approach if it was safe. One time Barbara's Great Dane came over toward them, Tristan stepped forward and more or less herded the bigger dog away. Barbara's dog was gentle but big and clumsy. Tristan didn't want anything to accidently happen to Jason.

(Tristan relaxing at Aunt Barbara's)

Jason and Tristan had a special relationship. He was great with Kyle also but He and Jason bonded. Jason constantly laid on top of, plopped on and one time jumped on Tristan from the couch while the dog was sleeping. That incident cost Jason a couple of stitches as Tristan reflexively snapped at the unexpected intrusion of his sleep. In spite of that Jason and Tristan had a true "boy and his dog relationship". Tristan slept in Jason's lower bunk most nights and to this day Jason's most precious possesion is Tristan's collar.

(Jason with his dog)

(Jason & Tristan in Gatlinburg Tenn)

(Kyle and Tristan)

It gave us great pleasure to give Tristan things he loved. Tennis balls, rawhide chews and many assortments of food. He was a chip hound. It was impossible for me to eat potato chips without him begging for a few. He balnced his diet though as Tristan loved apples. Our next door neighbor's yard had an apple tree which dropped apples in our yard every fall. Fortunately, He never got sick from the large quantity of apples he consumed.

(Judy spoiling our growing Golden)

When winters rolled around, Tristan enjoyed water then as much as he did during the summer. This time it was in the form of snow. Whether it was just catching snow balls tossed at him, digging on top of a giant, rolled up snow ball or just chasing me or the boys through the snow, he loved it.

(Romping in the snow)

Most of the time, Tristan got along well with other dogs. He so wanted to play with both Seth and Jasmine but his size intimated both of them. The best playmate he had was an Alaskan Malamute our neighbors had. They didn't have a fenced in yard and Max was kept on a long lead when left outside. Both dogs benefited when I would bring Max over to our house and let him romp with Tristan. Tristan was a little larger and most of the time dominated but on occasion we would see Tristan let Max get the upper hand as if he wanted him to be happy als0.

(Tristan wrestling with Max)

Though a great dog with other dogs and children, Tristan was a terror on wildlife. I never could understand why rabbits wanted to nest in our yard. I remember the first nest Tristan uncovered. I caught him joyfully tossing little bunnies in the air and catching them and when he was afraid I was going to stop him, Tristan gulped the baby rabbits down. This happened during more than one Spring. Rabbits weren't his only prey, Judy was walking him around the block one day and he made a sudden dart into a bush next to the sidewalk. He backed out of the bush, proudly displaying his kill. He wouldn't let the dead squirrel out of his mouth until he completed his walk for all to see. On another occasion, Judy came to me one evening concerned over something Tristan had in the backyard. I went out to investigate and found Tristan sprawled out on the ground guarding his dead prey. It was a possum. I pulled him away and scooped up the possum and set it in a box in the garage. I went back into the house and after a few minutes it dawned on me a trait of possums was to play dead. Sure enough when I went back out to check, the possum was gone.

In the spring of 2001, we noticed Tristan having a difficult time urinating. Judy took him into the vet and returned with the disheartening diagnosis. Tristan had Cancer of the spleen. Swelling was preventing his ability to pee and the vet didn't expect him to live but another month, two at the most. He started him on steroids to reduce the swelling and in the mean time, I would catheterize him twice a day. The process involved me laying underneath him and guiding the catheter through his penis and into his bladder, draining the urine into a pan. Amazingly, he cooperated every time and made the process simple. When the steroids took hold, he would begin urinating freely again and I would be able to stop the catheterizations. Unfortunately, the swelling would reoccur after some time and we would start over again. Tristan lived nearly 8 months after the cancer diagnosis. Better yet, his quality of life was preserved. We were blessed more than we could imagine.

Shortly after he was diagnosed, I was still feeling a great deal of emotional distress. A nurse on the night shift came to me knowing my situation and offered a young golden retriever pup, just a few months old, to me. He had found the young dog late one night on the intersate and had stopped to pick him up. He had tried to find an owner without success and was unable to keep the dog himself. He figured the pup would be a good way to help me through my struggle. At first I refused. I felt it would be like I was betraying Tristan. But when he brought the young Golden in to the hospital, I was overcome with emotion. He reminded me so much of Tristan when he was a pup. I changed my mind and brought the pup home. It was the best decision I could have made. Jason named the pup Noah, and he fit into the family immediately. He was also good for Tristan and Tristan was good for him. It was like Tristan took him under his wing and mentored the young pup. We had one of our best summers.

We went to Hummel Park many times to go swimming in the creek. We were taking a risk. The vet had warned us not to provide too strenuous exercise for Tristan. It could have caused his spleen to rupture and he would have bled to death internally. We decided if Tristan died swimming, he would have died doing the thing he enjoyed most. Instead of causing him distress, he thrived on it. What a joy it was swimming with Tristan and Noah and throwing sticks into the water for them to fetch.

(Tristan teaching Noah about swimming)

Judy and I celebrated our 25th anniversary that summer and went to the Smokey Mountains. we took the dogs and the boys and the event was so much better because they were part of it.

(Testing out a mountain stream)

We probably spoiled Tristan more than ever during those months. He got more than usual treats and rawhides, but we wanted, more than anything, to make Tristan's remaining time with us the best of times.

December 17th 2001 should have been a day of celebration for me as I turned 47 years old, but instead I had to have my good and faithful friend for over 12 and a half years put to sleep to prevent him suffering a stressful death that was quickly approaching. The tumor in his spleen was beginning to cause slow internal bleeding and the medications that helped keep him up and about were no longer as effective. If we didn't act he would soon have respiratory problems. Though he was comfortable at the time, he could begin having distress at any time and we owed it to him to let him go peacefully with the family at his side comforting him.

The pain I felt that day and the days after eventually faded but the memories of Tristan remain strong. I'm thankful for the many photos and videos though I still get choked up looking at them, and I know Tristan wouldn't want us to be in pain and would have us remember him joyfully.

(My big guy)